Minsan May Isang P*ta

Tingin ng mga bobong kapitbahay ko p*ta daw ako. Nagpapagamit, binabayaran. Sabi nila ako daw ang pinakamaganda at pinakasikat sa aming lugar noon. Ang bango-bango ko daw, sariwa at makinis. Di ko nga alam kung sumpa ito, dahil dito naletse ang kinabukasan ko.

Tara makinig ka muna sa kwento ko, yosi muna tayo.

Alam mo, maraming lumapit sa akin, nagkagusto, naakit. Ang hirap pag lahat tingin sa iyo virgin eh. Tinanggap ko naman silang tao, bakit kaya nila ako ginago? Masakit alalahanin, iniisip ko na lang na kase di sila taga rito, siguro talagang ganoon. Tatlong m*lilibog na foreigners ang namyesta sa katawan ko, na-rape daw ako.

Sa tatlong beses akong nagahasa, ang pinakahuli ang di ko malimutan. Parang maski di ko ginusto ang mga nangyari, hinahanap-hanap ko siya. Tinulungan niya kasi akong makalimutan yung mga sadistang Hapon at Kastilaloy. Kasi, ibang-iba ang hagod niya. Umiikot ang mundo ko sa tuwing ginagamit niya ako. Ibang klase siya mag-sorry, lalo pa at kinupkop niya ako at ang mga naging anak ko.

Parating ang dami naming regalo- may chocolates, yosi, at ano ka...may datung pa! Nakakabaliw siya, alam kong ginagamit niya lang ako pero pagamit naman ako nang pagamit. Sa kanya namin natutunan mag-Ingles, di lang magsulat, ha! Magbasa pa! Hanggang ngayon, sa tuwing mabigat ang problema ko, siya ang tinatakbuhan ko. 'Yun nga lang, lahat ng bagay may kapalit. Nung kinasama ko siya, guminhawa buhay namin. Sosyal na sosyal kami.

Ewan ko nga ba, akala ko napapamahal na ako sa kanya. Akala ko tuloy-tuloy na ang kasiyahan namin, yun pala unti-unti niya akong pinapatay. Sa dami ng lason na isinaksak niya sa katawan ko, muntik na akong malaspag. Ang daming nagsabi na ang tanga-tanga ko. Patalsikin ko na daw. Sa tulong ng mga anak ko, napalayas ko ang animal pero ang hirap magsimlula. Masyado na kaming nasanay sa sarap ng buhay. Napkahirap dahil nasanay na kami sa ginhawa at sarap.

Ang di ko inaakala na ang mismong mga anak ko ang tuluyang sisira sa akin. Napakasakit na tanggapin na malinlang. Akala ko makakakita na ako ng magiging kasama ko sa buhay sa mga ahas na ipinakilala ng mga anak ko. Hindi pala. Ang tanga ko talaga. Binugaw ako ng sarili kong mga anak kapalit ng kwarta at pansamantalang ginhawa na nais nilang matamasa.

Wala na akong nagawa dahil sa sobrang pagmamahal ko sa aking mga anak. Wala akong ibang yaman kundi ganda ko. Pinagamit ko na lang ng pinagamit ang sarili ko, basta maginhawa ko na lang ang mga anak ko. Usap-usapan ako ng mga kapit-bahay ko. May nanghihinayang, namumuhi at naawa. Puta na kasi ang magandang tulad ko.

Alam mo, gusto ko na sanang tumigil sa pagpuputa kaso ang laki talaga ng letseng utang ko eh. Palaki pa nang palaki. Kulang na kulang. Paano na lang ang mga anak ko naiwan sa aking punyetang puder? Baka hindi na ako balikan at bisitahin ng mga nag-abroad kong mga anak. Hindi na importante kung laspagin man ang ganda ko, madama ko lang ang pagmamahal ng mga anak ko. Malaman nila na gagawin ko ang lahatpara sa kanila. Sa tuwing titingin ako sa salamin, alam ko na maganda pa rin naman ako. Meron pa din ang bilib sa akin. Napapag-usapan pa din. Sa tuwing nakikita ko ang mukha ko sa salamin, nakikita ko ang mga anak ko. Tutulo na lang ang mga luha ko ng di ko namamalayan. Ang gagaling nga ng mga anak ko, namamayagpag kahit saan sila magpunta. Mahusay sa kahit anong gawin. Tama man o mali. Proud ako sa kanila. Kaso, sila, kabaligtaran ng nararamdaman para sa akin.

Sa dami ng mga anak ko, ilan lang ang may malasakit sa akin. May malasakit man, nahihilaw. Ni di nga ako kinikilalang ina. Halos lahat sila galit sa isa't isa. Walang gustong magtulungan, naghihilahan pa. Ang dami ko nang pasakit na tinitiis pero wala nang sasakit pa nung sarili kong mga anak pa ang nagbugaw sa akin. Kinapital ang laspag na ganda ko. Masyado silang nasanay sa sarap ng buhay. Minsan sa pagtingin ko sa salamin, ni hindi ko na nga kilala ang sarili ko.

Dadating na naman ang pasko, sana maalala naman ako ng mga anak ko. Ilang buwan pa, magbabagong taon na. Natatakot ako sa taong darating. Ngayon pa lang, usap-usapan na ang sunod-sunod na pagbubugaw ng ilan ng mga anak ko. Sana may magtanggol naman sa akin, ipaglaban naman nila ako. Gusto kong sumigaw:

"INA NINYO NAMAN AKO! MAHALIN NIYO NAMAN AKO!"

Salamat ha, pinakinggan mo ako.
Ay sorry, di ko pala nasabi...

PILIPINAS nga pala ang pangalan ko.

Napulot lang sa Filipino ni Ma'am Bron. :D

Happy Birthday nga pala, Kuya!

Music: New Found Glory - The Glory of Love

The Optimist's Creed

To be so strong that nothing can
disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity
to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there
is something in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything
and make your optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for
the best and expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success
of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on
to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance at all times
and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger,
too strong for fear, and too happy to permit
the presence of trouble.

- C.D. Larson

Music: Michael Jackson - Thriller

A Father's Instructions for Life

"Years ago, I read that it was the responsibility of parents not to pave the road for their children, but to provide a road map. So, as my son, Adam, prepared to leave for college, I jotted down a few words of counsel and put them in a binder. After his mother and I had helped him move into his hostel room, I presented him with the bound pages. A few days later, Adam called me. "Dad", he said, "the book is one of the best gifts I've ever received. I'm going to add to it and someday give it to my son."

Every once in a while life hands you a moment so precious,so overwhelming, that you almost glow. I had just experienced one. Here are some of the words I gave him..."

* Compliment three people each day.
* Watch a sunrise atleast once a year.
* Say "thank you" a lot.
* Say "please" a lot.
* Live beneath your means.
* Buy whatever kids are selling.
* Treat everyone you meet as you want to be treated.
* Donate some of your blood every year.
* Make new friends but cherish old ones.
* Keep secrets.
* Don't waste time learning the "tricks of the trade". Instead learn the trade.
* Admit your mistakes.
* Be brave.Even if you're not,pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
* Choose a charity in your community and support it generously with your time and money.
* Use credit cards only for convenience,never for credit.
* Never cheat.
* Learn to listen.Opportunity sometimes knocks very softly.
* Never deprive someone of hope;it might be all he or she has.
* Pray not for things;but for wisdom and courage.
* Never take action when you are angry.
* Have good posture.
* Enter a room with purpose and confidence.
* Don't discuss business in the lift.You never know who may overhear you.
* Never pay for work before it's completed.
* Be willing to lose a battle in order to win the war.
* Don't gossip.
* Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.
* When facing a difficult task,act as though it is impossible to fail.
* Don't agree to do too many things at once. Learn to say no politely and quickly.
* Don't expect life to be fair.
* Never underestimate the power of forgiveness.
* Instead of using the word problem,try substituting the word opportunity.
* Never walk out on a quarrel with your wife.
* Regarding furniture and clothes: if you think you'll be using them five years or longer,buy the best you can afford.
* Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life,you'll regret the things you did'nt do more than the ones you did.
* Forget committees.New,noble,world-changing ideas always come from one person working alone.
* Street musicians are a treasure.Stop for a moment and listen;then leave a small donation.
* When faced with a serious health problem,get atleast three medical opinions.
* Wage war against littering.
* After encountering inferior service,food or products,bring it to the attention of the person in charge. Good managers will appreciate knowing.
* Don't procrastinate.Do what needs doing when it needs to be done.
* Get your priorities straight.No one ever said on his deathbed, "Gee, if I'd only spent more time at the office."
* Don't be afraid to say "I don't know".
* Make a list of 25 things you want to experience before you die. Carry it in your wallet and refer to it often.
* Phone your mother.

- H. Jackson Brown

Music: No Doubt - Don't Speak

Youth

Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind; it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips and supple knees; it is a matter of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions; it is the freshness of the deep springs of life.

Youth means a temperamental predominance of courage over timidity of the appetite, for adventure over the love of ease. This often exists in a man of sixty more than a body of twenty. Nobody grows old merely by a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals.

Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. Worry, fear, self-distrust bows the heart and turns the spirit back to dust.

Whether sixty or sixteen, there is in every human being's heart the lure of wonder, the unfailing child-like appetite of what's next, and the joy of the game of living. In the center of your heart and my heart there is a wireless station; so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer, courage and power from men and from the Infinite, so long are you young.

When the aerials are down, and your spirit is covered with snows of cynicism and the ice of pessimism, then you are grown old, even at twenty, but as long as your aerials are up, to catch the waves of optimism, there is hope you may die young at eighty.

- Samuel Ullman

Assigned Novel

The Old Man and The Sea
By Ernest Hemingway

It is the story of an old Cuban fisherman, down on his luck, and his supreme ordeal---a relentless, agonizing battle with a giant marlin far out in the Gulf Stream. Here Hemingway recasts the classic theme of courage in the face of defeat, or personal triumph won from loss.

Ito yung assigned novel sakin sa English. Nakabili na ko kanina. Manipis lang naman pala. Madaling basahin. Mahirap intindihin?! English kasi eh. Hahaha!

Currently Listening To: Damien Rice - Cannonball

Le Morte d' Arthur

Nakakainis! Laging kulelat yung grupo namin sa bawat activity tungkol sa Le Morte. Masyado kasing magagaling yung nasa ibang grupo eh. Tapos ang hirap pa nila magpaquiz. Nagbabasa rin naman ako ng Le Morte d' Arthur kahit papano.

Kami na susunod na magprepresent tungkol sa Le Morte. Dapat nga kahapon pa eh kaya lang walang klase. Tapos ngayon wala ulit klase. Hayy... haha! Hayaan niyo GROUP II... babawi tayo! Kaya natin yan! Lalo na ngayo't mukhang maganda yung presentation natin. Gaganti tayo sa kanila! Hehe! Joke lang!

Tapos mamayang 1:30 pm may practice pa sa Jingle Rap para sa TLE. Hindi ko nga lang alam kung makakapunta ko. Bahala na nga! Haha!

Music: Sixpence None The Richer - Kiss Me